Podcast Episode 1: Is Recovery Possible? – UNTANGLED

Introduction to the Untangled Podcast

Hello, hello, my beautiful and wonderful and strong and mindful and intelligent and courageous warriors out there listening right now. I’m your host, Victoria, and welcome to Eating Disorder Solutions Podcast Untangled, where we’re dedicated to unraveling, decoding and exploring growth within eating disorder and mental health recovery.

I am so so happy to know you’re here. I’m here and we’re ready to dive into the depths of eating disorders and other mental health issues in order to regain your power, which encompasses everything that you are your body, your soul, and your mind. As I always start or end my day with a positive quote, I’m going to do the same on each episode for you. I’m going to say the quote a couple times so that you can really focus on it, allowing you to perceive and prepare your mind and soul for the lesson on today’s episode. So here’s today’s quote. In any given moment, we have two options to step forward into growth, or to step backwards into safety. I’m going to repeat that. In any given moment, we have two options to step forward into growth, or to take step backwards into safety. So I want you to think how you can apply this quote to yourself. A great mental health strategy is to apply helpful quotes to your daily life. Really question it, think about it, marinate on it and apply it. And if you’re able, pause the episode, write down your thoughts. Journaling is an amazing technique to help calm anxiety and helps process your emotions.

My Journey and Goal for the Podcast

As your host, I do want to begin with the fact that I am not a therapist, a dietician, a psychologist, etc. Nor do I claim to have experience as one. I work with Eating Disorder Solutions as their mental health and eating disorder knowledge advocate. I’m not claiming that I can heal you through my words, but I can promise you that I will always try. I’m honestly someone just like you that struggled with my own mental health journey. And because it’s something that I work on every single day, I do understand the anxieties and the worries and the fears that come with it. I didn’t really have anyone to speak with about these struggles for a long time. So this podcast is kind of a way for me to reach people who may feel the same. And my goal is to make it feel as safe as possible.

I also have the privilege of working very closely with our clinical teams and our clients. So I get to learn from the people who will be helping you throughout your recovery journey. And that’s something I’m really proud of because I’ve actually seen firsthand how helpful our treatment center really is. I’ve met with and interviewed a lot of our clients already. And it’s honestly been a complete life changer for me to see how amazing their transformations have been and the power behind the holistic healing. It’s a constant reminder to myself that healing is very possible. And although it takes hard work, I know at the end of the day, I’ve done what I can to get myself into a better place mentally. And those changes will inevitably continue to help my health in many ways.

So not only is this podcast going to help you see new perspectives within your eating disorder recovery, but also your mental health in general, they go hand in hand. And on this podcast, and just in my life in general, I’ve been saying it and I will continue to say it. Everybody needs therapy. Life is hard. And if you don’t have healthy coping mechanisms in your arsenal yet, you will, and we can definitely help you get there. Whether you’re listening to the podcast on their way to work, class, or just relax in a coffee shop listening, these podcasts and these episodes will provide you with new knowledge, clarity on treatment if you choose to go that route, and ultimately empower you to take your life back from your eating disorder, because it truly does not deserve to be in your life.

What to Expect from Untangled

I’ll be able to touch on many various topics about mental health and eating disorders, such as coping mechanisms, learning what true self love is and how to incorporate it into your daily life, how to move towards recovery, and even helpful information about what to do after treatment and how to maintain and sustain that amazing transformation you can find within treatment. As you go through your eating disorder recovery, whether it’s been years, or it’s just the start of your healing journey, I want you to feel my unwavering confidence in you. You are worthy of the freedom that comes with recovery. Your body is worthy of kindness and appreciation.

So as the first episode in this podcast, we’re going to be discussing a very important topic. What does recovering from an eating disorder look like? What does it feel like? And is it truly possible?

What Does Recovery Look Like?

Well, for starters, recovery is about discovering everything that is within you. So basically, it’s about knowing you and reassuring yourself that this is something you didn’t choose, but you are choosing to be brave and move past it despite your mind telling you otherwise. It’s coming out stronger on the other side because you know that recovery is one of the hardest things that you’re probably gonna do in your life. It’s sharing your story and helping others, and it’s no longer competing with the people around you. Instead, it’s choosing to strive for health and happiness.

Recovery is also about enjoying all types of food, not just restricting yourself to specific ones. So it’s not just like sticking to a meal plan of quinoa and green smoothies and Clif bars. It’s also going to get ice cream with your friends on a Tuesday night because you’re hungry, and it’s 95 degrees outside. Recovery is being able to enjoy your birthday cake and not pack a separate dinner that you bring to the hibachi restaurant. It’s being able to eat a donut for your afternoon snack and still eat a normal dinner. It’s being able to eat a salad in a balanced way without thoughts racing of how salad should be the only thing you eat for the next week. It’s bringing scones into work and eating some in addition to your breakfast because you wanna celebrate that it’s Friday with your coworkers.

Recovery is knowing that not everything has to be perfect. Now, I know this is a really hard one for a lot of us to grasp because we’re constantly striving for perfection. I will also be touching on that a little bit more in future episodes, so stay tuned for that one. But recovering from an eating disorder or any other mental health illness does not mean that your life becomes perfect. After speaking with some of our clients, when they finally decided to commit to recovery, they did admit to mistakenly believing that once they found recovery, they thought then their life would be perfect. They imagined a life free of the suffering and the pain and the loss, but every single person will encounter adversity and loss in their lives. True recovery is about learning to feel everything, the good, the bad, and yes, the ugly. Recovery doesn’t mean that your life will be free of pain. It means you’ll be able to go through and experience pain without losing yourself within the eating disorder. Being in recovery gives us the ability to withstand the ups and downs of life without sinking back into self-destruction.

The Reality of the Healing Journey

Recovery is understanding that when you make mistakes, that’s just your humanness. You’re still lovable, valuable, and everything is working out the way that it should. Recovery is also about creating a life outside of your eating disorder. So kind of what this means is it’s just being able to feel safe outside of a treatment center. It’s being able to eat in front of people you’ve never met before without fear that they’re constantly judging every little morsel that you eat. Eating disorder recovery is graduating from residential treatment and PHP and wanting to start a new life rather than going back to treatment because that’s where you feel the most accepted.

A big thing to remind yourself is that, yeah, recovery is hard. I mean, I’m gonna be very upfront and honest with you as much as I can be on this podcast because keeping it real, honestly, is the way that I get through my own day to day. So yes, recovery is hard. Healing is knowing that there will be times when things get incredibly difficult for you. Recovery is understanding that slips and relapses can, and they will happen, but you always have the option to get back up. It’s maybe possibly going back to treatment with more motivation than ever and coming out even stronger.

Another one is definitely learning to know that recovery is not linear. It’s not gonna be this perfect little mapped out graph that you think is what other people are accomplishing. Recovery is feeling all your emotions and accepting them. And that’s a very scary thing for people to be able to do, I know. It’s being angry and sad and crying in front of other people because you’re human and you have feelings, just like everyone else in this world. Recovery is being okay with things being out of control. That’s a tough one. I know that’s a tough one. I will also be touching on that in future episodes as well.

But honestly, most importantly, it’s truly about finding yourself again. You get really lost within your eating disorder, and it’s about going after your dreams and fighting for your passions. It’s living life feeling free, and it’s showing the remarkable amount of strength and courage that you have inside of you.

Is Full Recovery Possible?

So we’re gonna jump back to the biggest question I really feel like runs across a lot of people’s minds is is it possible to fully recover from an eating disorder? The answer is yes. Yes, it is possible. It is possible to be fully recovered and still have some negative thoughts. Again, we’re only human. It is possible to be fully recovered and wanna go to the gym. It’s possible to be fully recovered no matter what anyone else says. This possibility doesn’t come easily. So you have to learn not to give up because it isn’t easy, but it is absolutely possible.

So I ask you not to bully yourself. The world already does that enough. You have a life and a personality outside of your eating disorder, I promise. And honestly, my favorite one is, and this is a big one that I learned too, as well as when I was going through my own therapy treatment although not eating disorder related, I did struggle heavily with mental health. And my biggest lesson was just learning that recovery is finding, was finding my light again and spreading it around. Because I’ve learned through my struggles and my own perceptions of what my reality is and what I’ve had to deal with in my own life, that being stuck in this negative cycle is no way to live. I lost my light for a long time. And I mean, sometimes I still lose it, but I remember where to find it. I remember where to go back and find where I left it. And that’s what recovery really is. Sometimes your light might dim, right? And that’s really tough because it makes you feel weak. It makes you feel like you’re a failure, but I’m really truly here to tell you that that’s not your truth at all. That doesn’t have to be anybody’s truth.

Finding Your Light Again

And when I was able to relocate my mental health and really prioritize it, I found my light again. And it came with a deeper motivation to spread it. And I don’t really know how to explain this until maybe you feel it for yourself, but I felt this overwhelming need to nourish other people with the light that I reclaimed for myself, because it’s about falling in love with being alive again. It’s more than just existing. It’s living it.

And recovery from anything is hard and scary. And sometimes it seems like it’s really gonna ruin your life. But when you learn how to fight and you learn how to change the negative perspective into a positive one, and you start to learn coping skills and truly understanding the dynamic of food and your body, you realize how much more there is in life than your eating disorder or the mental health illness that you’re struggling with. Because I totally get it, trust me. You can absolutely feel completely stuck and you might not know how to process those emotions right now, and that’s okay. Life is beautiful. So I want you to go out there and I want you to chase it. I want you to go after your dreams. I want you to believe in yourself and I want you to believe that you can achieve the life that you’re looking for. And you don’t have to feel clouded by the judgment and the guilt and the shame that your eating disorder is bringing into your life right now.

The biggest lesson too is accepting love. Accept the love that you deserve because you do deserve it, accepting love, and then radiating it back into the world. Recovery from an eating disorder is truly, yes, it can be a difficult path. It requires a lot of courage. It requires resilience, humility, and strength. But the good news is, if you’re listening right now, you already have all of these qualities. You have them, they’re in you. And it’s obvious that they’re in you because you’re doing everything you can to try to solve it. I mean, you’re listening to this podcast, right? You’re listening to this random person that is trying to spread their own light. And that’s what the good news is. You have all these qualities, they’re in you. But now it’s time to use them to take your life back because life and recovery is worth every single difficult step forward that it’s gonna take you.

So I’m here today. I’ll be here tomorrow. I’ll be here the next day to constantly remind you that recovery is absolutely possible. It’s absolutely worth it. And when you learn how to fight back, you’ll never ever let it take control again. When you actually feel what real control, what actual control is, not your eating disorder voice or your eating disorder feeling like you have control, but your own control over your life, you’ll realize that that’s all that matters and you’ll find your voice again and you’ll speak your truth and others will hear you speak your truth and you’ll be radiating light back into the world, right where you belong and right where all of that light belongs. And remember, life is too delicious to let your eating disorder take the last bite.