Memorial Day weekend is here, and for many families that means backyard barbeques, a trip to the pool, and quiet moments honoring the service members who gave their lives for this country. It’s a holiday with a different weight than most summer gatherings — equal parts celebration and remembrance — which can make it a uniquely complicated day for someone struggling with an eating disorder, disordered eating, or body image concerns. Food is woven into how we mark this weekend: burgers, hot dogs, potato salad, and dessert at a cookout that might also be the first “swimsuit day” of the year. Many of these foods land squarely in “fear food” territory, and the shift from long pants to swimwear brings its own anxiety. If that’s something you or a loved one are navigating, our post on Swimsuit Season walks through it in more detail.
So how do you get through a Memorial Day gathering — one that might include family you only see once or twice a year, or conversation about a relative who served — without feeling overwhelmed? Start with the plate in front of you: include a variety of foods, and let your hunger and fullness cues guide how much you eat rather than a rule your eating disorder has set. One cookout will not undo your progress. If the day also carries grief, for a family member lost in service or simply the emotional charge of a remembrance holiday, give yourself permission to feel that too — a holiday can hold both joy and grief at once, and neither cancels the other out. Eating disorders thrive on isolation, so if you’re tempted to skip the gathering altogether, ask yourself honestly why. And if the swimsuit is the sticking point, remember that most people at that pool are far more focused on themselves than on you.
Memorial Day is meant to be both a tribute and a celebration — you’re allowed to hold space for what the day honors while still enjoying the food, the company, and the first real weekend of summer. Holiday stress management strategies can help here too: set a boundary around a conversation topic if you need to, take a walk if the day feels like too much, and lean on whoever in your life feels safest to talk to. The goal isn’t to get through Memorial Day perfectly. It’s to get through it in a way that lets you show up for the next one too.
Family gatherings like this one can also be a good moment to think about how much support actually exists at home day to day, not just at the cookout. If conversations about food or body image are a recurring source of tension in your family, not just a once-a-summer thing, bringing family into treatment directly can help more than any single day’s coping strategy. And if staying present with your hunger and fullness cues at a big gathering feels like a skill you haven’t built yet, mindful eating is worth practicing well before the next holiday rolls around.
Authored by Emily Baum, M.S., RDN, LD
