Jess' Eating Disorder Recovery Story

After struggling through quite a few traumatic events as a child, Jess found themself searching for answers about their true life purpose, their identity, and their goals for the future. They felt as if they could never catch a break, and it always seemed like they were running from their fears and struggles, enveloped in the emotions of feeling stuck and feeling worthless. At the age of 14 years old, Jess began looking for ways to cope and began purposefully punishing themself by not eating. 

As Jess got older, they began to notice their eating habits not only changed but also led to other fears – such as living alone, grocery shopping, doing laundry, or driving. Their eating disorder voice was so loud in their head that they felt completely stuck and as if there was no way out. The only coping strategies Jess had were using substances, movies, and video games as a way to escape their reality because help didn’t seem like it was ever a real option. 

“I depended on my eating disorder. It gave me false hope that I was in control of something in my life. It made me feel like I had a purpose when my life felt hopeless. It was just so easy for me to fall into that trap. I felt like my life was worthless, I was depressed, I was using drugs to cope, and I was doing escapism as much as I could. All of these things were a perfect storm for me to fall into my eating disorder – and deeply. It happened so fast. I avoided food – at all costs.”

When Jess began losing their love for art, skipping work more and more, and noticing they couldn’t even talk to their spouse about what they were struggling with, Jess reached out to a therapist. After a couple of months, Jess’ therapist realized their eating habits were irregular and disordered, and she begged Jess to get the intensive care that they needed. Jess did, found Eating Disorder Solutions, and they’ve never looked back since. 

While at Eating Disorder Solutions, Jess connected with themself in ways they never felt possible. They began feeling increasingly comfortable speaking up for themselves, connecting to their identity, and advocating for their wants and needs. Jess finally came into a place of self-love, treating themself with much more self-compassion and respect.

Jess’ love for people shone through while receiving treatment because once they began noticing the changes in themselves, they wanted to continue helping others who were just starting on their recovery journey. They gained confidence, pride, and love for themselves and life again, and while being interviewed, you could literally see the joy exude off of them as they spoke about seeing other clients heal and thrive at Eating Disorder Solutions. 

Although it was very bittersweet for them to leave Eating Disorder Solutions, they now feel confident enough to step back into the world and make a bee-line for their goals. Jess is heavily involved in the LGBTQ+ community and is driven to make a difference for others who are struggling with their identity and mental health, as they know that many individuals within the community struggle with eating disorders as well. 

“I want other people to know that there are people like them that went through this process. And I want them to come here, I want them to be happy, and I want them to find their purpose and advocate for themselves. I never felt like I could accomplish anything because of my eating disorder, but now I’m in a place where I’m just full of hope, where hope wasn’t there before.”