Joshua's Eating Disorder Recovery Story

Meet Joshua. A fun-loving, caring, compassionate human being who fell a little too hard into the expectations of who he thought he was meant to be. 

As a member of the LGBTQ+ community, he shares how the pressures, stigmas, and unsaid rules and guidelines began to blur the line between being himself and becoming someone he didn’t recognize. 

Joshua began noticing some disordered behaviors and thoughts while in college but was able to push through to graduate with his bachelor’s degree. Unfortunately, once the sparkle of college wore off, he noticed his internal dialogue was under attack from belittling and judgmental intrusive thoughts that stemmed from his need for validation from others. He felt as if he was being forced into a little box by people who thought he should be a certain way, rather than choosing for himself. 

When he began to lose his love for writing and creating, lost a job that he enjoyed, and felt completely disconnected from himself, he realized that things were taking a turn for the worst.

As his family is Polish, their love language and traditional family values include food. When he began to eat less and less, he was worried about his family taking it personally. His guilt about his feelings and actions was exacerbated by the simple fact that he truly didn’t know what was happening to him. He denied it until he could no longer keep it a secret, as his isolation was apparent to the people around him who love him, and that’s when he found Eating Disorder Solutions. 

Joshua explains how his inner and outer healing transformation feels now that he’s spent a couple of months in treatment – and he says he wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

“I needed the tough love from my parents. They couldn’t help me the way that a treatment center could. I needed to go somewhere where professionals specialize in helping people dealing with eating disorders – people like me.”

“Just remember that, even if you feel like you might be able to do this alone and accomplish recovery on your own, at home, I had to constantly remind myself that if I could have done it by myself, I would have. Home is where I got bad, home was where I was comfortable. Uncomfortable situations force you to grow – and it’s such a healthy thing to go through. This is a healthy amount of anxiety to place yourself under in an environment where there are people who are there to help you recover and stay by your side when you need them. There are peers to help you, staff to help you, and an amazing outdoor environment to reestablish yourself in connection with nature. There are so many wonderful parts about coming to treatment.”

Joshua is healthier than ever, loving who he’s becoming, and now knows that although life can be tough – he’s tougher.